Opening to a New Reality – Part 3

Awakening to a New Reality - Part 3

Meditation first thing in the morning. Twenty minutes of silence and mantra. I had learned Transcendental Meditation last summer and it was easy to get back into the groove. It felt good!

After just a few days of meditating, I felt better and was able to get more distance between my thoughts and begin to see things more clearly. Sleep was still an issue though. I had trouble falling asleep and my mind was whirling with all these thoughts I was trying to examine. One night I just couldn’t sleep, so I got out of bed and went into the living room and turned on the TV and grabbed my laptop.  I had gotten a message on my laptop that my disk space was getting full, I had to remove some old files or pictures. Since I was up with nothing to do, I started deleting stuff from my hard drive.  About 2 am I clicked open a filed called “Writing Projects” and there were several folders with the names of books I had started and not finished. I sat there and looked at it for a minute. There were several creative projects I had started and stopped. It hit me hard. How long had I been doing this? It was a familiar feeling. I felt guilt and shame, remorse and beneath it a twinkle of enthusiasm. It felt like how I felt about diets. I cringed. I began to feel that panicky feeling and had the urge to delete all the files to erase them from my life like they didn’t exist! But, there was too much of me in them, too much effort and heart. I couldn’t do it. So I opened each one. I sat there for the next hour just looking through the files. These were like un-birthed babies. This weight and body image was opening up into something bigger. This was about more, much more.

“Procrastination is like a credit card: It’s okay until you get the bill.”     – Christopher Parker

I opened the Body Belief book folder and inside I saw files for each chapter, other files with images and outlines. I had completed 9 chapters, over 40,000 words. Each chapter had images, graphics, and annotations. It was seriously organized.  I was impressed with myself! The date: 2012. Here it was 2017 and I was back here again.  Looking at this issue. TRYING to look at this issue again. I knew that I was on to something. What I couldn’t figure out – what was stopping me.  I had to uncover it!

The idea of being the watcher seemed the way to go.  I had to look into these thoughts and discover what was going on. Why was I repeating this behavior in so many areas of my life? I decided to print out all the chapters of Body Belief and also the original book written in 2008 (which was more of a workbook) and see what I could learn from all the work I had done.  The next day I copied the files onto a thumb drive and took it to Staples and had printed it all printed. I brought it home and started reading.  I was blown away with how good it was! Everything I read was right on, exactly what I needed to hear, the truth about the diet industry, the truth of our own innate body wisdom, the FOS and the VOS and how we need to re-wire our brains from the old fat mentality to a new belief system that owns own innate wisdom, and vibrancy from our true source. It was good!! I was taken back that I had all this knowledge, yet just a few years later I was entirely back in the FOS and fighting to find my way out again. I was excited that I had this wisdom and devastated that I couldn’t use it in my own life.  It was a difficult day. Again, I had to sit with it and decide what to do next.

What I did next was slip back into an old habit – DOING. Somehow during that discover I slipped away from my watcher/observer self and back into my old Modus Operandi. I decided I would finish this book and it would become my next project! I would use this book to be the next thing that I could loopback to Becoming Zia and loop forward to Body Belief. I moved into my hyper-organized doer self and began making lists and coming up with ideas how to present it to the world. I created a timeline and a launch date. I bought a domain name and set up a WordPress website. One of the files I had found was an informational videoI’d created that explained Body Belief (although I hadn’t finished it, of course!). I went to work on the video and bought a microphone to do the voice over. I learned how to use the microphone and then decided I would do a podcast too! Oh yes, I had this all figured out!  First I’d finish the video (watch it below)  and then I’d start on the next thing – the process of Body Belief. Yes, that’s it!

Ha!

Who was I kidding?

How could I work on that when I didn’t know how to do it for myself! Was I crazy? So I had to pause again. I stepped back from this all and thankfully was able to get a little space to become the watcher for a minute.  I could see that I didn’t have the answer for other people, the person I needed make this work for was me! But I had no idea if I could!

I pulled back for a couple of days. Then I did a very out of behavior thing – I went to the cannabis store. Yep, that’s right I decided to get high. Strictly medicinal, I thought I could break through whatever this block was and that marijuana might help. Seriously. I had been reading a lot about it because I had been considering investing in marijuana stock since it was becoming legalized in California, I had heard that it was a good investment. The uses were so varied and treated so many illnesses, one being anxiety. I called the doctor and talked to her about the use of cannabis for anxiety and creativity. We had a long talk and she recommended I go to a website called leafly.com. Which I did. After some more research, I went to the dispensary with my medical marijuana card in hand. I learned about CBD and decided to try a combo THC/CBD drop. Just a few drops under the tongue. The people at the dispensary were helpful and knew their stuff. It was quite an interesting adventure.

It took me a few days to get up the nerve to use it, but I did.  I took three droppers full, the recommended dose. Then I went into my cottage and meditated for 20 minutes. I wasn’t feeling anything, but I decided to start writing. Before long I was writing about the chakras and how that could be included in Body Belief and that each chakra was connected to a life area. If the area was disconnected or blocked then it could be an issue.  If the chakras were balanced then an opening might occur which would let a person see their own divinity and could connect them with their wisdom body.  It seemed very profound. I immediately started working on it. I got out my book and the section on creating a new VOS (Vibrant Operating System) and connected the seven chakras to the seven life areas I discussed in the book. It was all making sense and I liked it!

Part 4 coming next week.

Know Yourself • Be Yourself • Live it Like Crazy!

What Dreams May Come? Follow Yours

What Dreams May Come?

I had a dream. I wanted to write a book.

Then, I wrote a book. But, procrastination and fear kept it locked inside my computer. Then one day, I knew I had to do it.

I had to stop thinking of it as a dream and take action.

Beacuse.

A dream without action is a fantasy.

“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.”    – Walt Disney

Here I am opening the mailing envelope with the draft copy of my book. I’m seeing it for the first time. It was magic. All the dreams, the work, and the perseverance. I pushed through all the blocks, the self-doubt, and the fear. It felt so good to hold that book in my hands!

Here’s the thing.

If I can do this. You can do this.

Do you have a dream you’ve been putting off?

What is it?

Why don’t you go for it? What have you got to lose?

Know Yourself • Be Yourself • Live it Like Crazy!

P.S.  I didn’t just finish one book! I finished two! Sucess builds confidence, and confidence gives you the courage to take risks. Oh, by the way, I am working on my third book!

Becoming Zia and Becoming You! Interactive Workbook

Becoming Zia and Becoming You! Interactive Workbook

So . . . I wrote a book.  Can you friggin believe that!

And, . . . it’s going to be available in paperback and Kindle versions on Amazon August 15th.

It is so amazing! For those of you who know about my journey, you know what an accomplishment that is for me! I am very proud of myself and happy to have overcome the fears I had about doing it.

The funny thing about it is that it jump started me and now I can’t be stopped!! My creativity is flowing.

After finishing the prologue of the book, and writing about the lessons I learned from the experience, I thought that a lot of people could benefit from what I had learned. It occurred to me that I could create a workbook that would follow along the journey, and allow anyone to explore the same lessons. So, I did!

With the help of a very talented designer named Matt, and my editor Stephanie, a book was created called Becoming You! Interactive Workbook.

Just like that, I have two books! Mind blowing!

Here’s the thing, it’s not just another book! It’s a tool for learning, growing, and living a happier life. Whatever happened to me in the process of Becoming Zia was part of something bigger, and I have accepted that. I am not blowing my own horn by saying this, it’s just the truth. This thing that is happening to me is coming from inside and it wants to be expressed.  There is no holding it back.

Here are a few pages of Becoming You! for your to preview.

A couple of weeks ago I announced that the first 25 people who pre-order Becoming Zia: A Tale of Transformation will get a FREE pdf download of Becoming You! Interactive Workbook. The good news, there are still some available.  So, don’t miss this opportunity.

Now, I’ve added another BONUS!  Anyone who buys the paperback of Becoming Zia on August 15, 2017,  will also get a copy of the workbook in paperback! (That’s a $19.99 value!)

Click here to order.

There’s even more exciting news coming. But, this’s enough for now! I’m so thrilled to be sharing these two books with the world! I hope you enjoy them!

Know Yourself • Be Yourself • Live it Like Crazy!

Note: When you pre-order your book send me an email or message me on Facebook to let me know. Tell me if you purchased the Kindle version or the paperback.  Otherwise I have no way of knowing it was you!

Know Yourself • Be Yourself • Live it Like Crazy!