A Story of Awakening – Part 1

After all, I am a Storyteller!

It has been an interesting few weeks. I’ve had an awakening that was very unexpected and still unfolding. I will tell you the story of how it happened.

After publishing Becoming Zia and the Becoming You! Workbook I wasn’t sure what to do next. All the writing coaches and classes I had taken learning the publishing process all agreed that the next step after publishing your first book was to start on your second. Since I am a goal orientated person, that seemed like a good idea. The concept makes sense. Write another book and loop it back to your first book and loop you first book to your second and that begins the energy of promotion. Because, honestly, what’s the point of writing a book if no one is going to read it!

It sounded like a good plan.

Since I already had another book almost written I thought I would re-visit it. However, since I was more enlightened now then I was when I wrote it, I thought I would start anew and begin by using myself as an experiment. I had done this in the past, without much success, but I was willing to try again with a new approach.

The book is Body Belief: A New Paradigm for Weight Loss. My belief is that the disconnection from our innate body wisdom and our source of life is what has created the problem. That, along with a diet, exercise, and beauty industry that has created a consciousness that supports that disconnection. I call it the Fat Operating System. A system, like a computer operating system that keeps recreating the very thing that is unwanted. My thinking is that we need to reprogram ourselves, reconnect with our higher self and our innate body wisdom and create a new Vibrant Operating System (VOS). Something that is more naturally aligned with our authentic self.

Weight and body image has been something that has been front and center in my life as long as I can remember. My mother was obsessed with her weight and body image. She lived from one diet to the next.  She was on the Paleo diet when she died. Just a week before her death she was so happy she had lost enough weight to wear a size 10. She wanted her picture taken with her new smaller size clothes, so I took some with my iPhone.  When I showed them to her, she looked confused, angry and sad, all at the same time. I asked her what was wrong. She responded, “I still look fat!” The next week she died.

“Losing weight does not cure a negative body image!” -Anonymous

I didn’t want to follow in her footsteps. But here I was 61 years old and I was still dealing with it. It had to stop! I was clear that dieting and the yo yo cycle of losing and gaining must stop – for good. As long as I was trapped in that mentality I could never see clear to change. Interesting enough, I had joined a year long Life Coaching program that was specifically for weight loss. The process involved following a “protocol”, not a diet. You developed your own “protocol” but it had to include intermittent fasting, and no sugar, flour, wheat, processed foods, or snacking. Two meals a day with nothing in between. No, this wasn’t a diet. Right. Then, once you were following protocol, the theory is that thoughts would begin to arise that would help discover the root cause of overeating and the urges that created it!

At the beginning of the year (I started in January) I did great. I lost 45 pounds and was feeling fantastic. The thought work was really helping and I could see much more clearly.  I think doing that work helped me create the Becoming You! Workbook and the philosophy interwoven into it – Know Yourself • Be Yourself • Life It Like Crazy! It also helped me see some of the Big Lessons I wrote about in my book.

What other people think of you is none of your business.
You are in charge of your own happiness.
You are perfect just as you are!

However, the “protocol” had stopped working and I was fighting it every day. Eating “good” one day and then “bad” the next. Beating myself up and promising myself I would go back on the protocol 100% the next day. It all felt very familiar.

Yes, you’re right – it was a DIET, not a protocol. It was a more intellectual approach to dieting, but it was still dieting. I felt forlorn and angry at myself for being back in this same space yet again.

But, all was not lost!

What I had learned from the months on the program was how to really step back and look at my thoughts. I knew from my Body Belief research (dating back to 2008) that 95% of all diets fail and that was the first thing I had written about – giving up dieting. So I decided to give up all food rules and restrictions and start looking only at the thoughts that came up.

Wow! What I began to discover!

PART 2 next week!

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