Kundalini Rising – Part 5

Kundalini Rising - Part 5

Life is too short to spend it at war with yourself!

Yoga Nidra. I did it morning and night. In between, I rested and allowed myself to let go further.

After a few days of Yoga Nidra and rest, I saw something. I saw that I had been at war with my body. Like the War on Drugs, the War on Crime and the War on Poverty, it hadn’t help me make peace with my body, it just made it worse.

I understood what Amrit Desai was talking about when he talked about attachment. Anything you are attached to will keep you separate from SOURCE. Being involved in a battle of any kind  is a distraction and separation from what you truly want. I was swinging between dieting and over eating, from hating myself to trying to coach myself. All the while I was calling my body the enemy.

One day I cleaned my white board. It had all the plans I had made for launching Body Belief in January 2018. I wiped it. I turned on some jazz, made a big tall class of iced tea, used some marijuana drops and worked some things out. I felt like I was calculating a mathematical equation like Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory Here’s what I discovered.

There are two ways to look at the whole Body Belief concept.

  1.  Through the ego-mind.  It becomes an identity and an all-encompassing distraction – the war between will and body.
  2. Or, as the “watcher” and step into my Higher Self and see the body as a primitive animal that acts on instinct, and the mind as a programmed set of patterns and behaviors that took over my brain and get acted on blindly or unconsciously.

I knew I wanted to connect to my Higher Self and see how I could go about taking control of my thoughts and learning to work with my animal body.

Easy peasy.

Ha!

My old self would have started investigating, researching and planning. But, you know what I did? Nothing. I decided to just “be” with it. I slept, rested, and watched TV, 4 seasons of “The Killing”. Which is not like me at all!

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need. ”  – Tao Te Ching

And, I kept doing Yoga Nidra twice a day, morning and night.

As the days progressed, I let go of more. I cleared my big wall of post-it note “to do’s”, moved my desk out of the cottage, unsubscribed from a bunch of email lists I was on, stopped posting on Facebook, threw out some clothes, and took time to turn the cottage into a sacred meditation room. It was no longer my “office.”  It felt fantastic.

Letting go. Letting go more. And, letting go even more.

That’s when it happened! Something happened to me that I’ve heard about, but never experienced until now – Kundalini Awakening. The divine feminine energy awakened and united with the divine male.

Yep, it happened. And, it was amazing. Well, actually more than that, it was ecstatic and blissful. It was only for a few moments but that’s all it took. There is no going back from it. Once touched, it changed me. Deeply.

I knew that it wasn’t about any of the things I had been keeping myself busy with – Body Belief, classes, coaching, building a website, a podcast, building a writers platform on Facebook, making videos, writing my blog, planning, keeping an editorial calendar and a master plan, etc. etc.

It also awakened me to the truth that obsession with anything, be it body, food, weight, work, shopping, television, creating “projects”, etc. creates a war. The war that keeps our attention so we are in a constant state of separation.

These were some of the human distractions that I was using to keep myself occupied and busy, so I could keep out the quiet.

But, the quiet is where I needed to be.

In the quiet, and the non-doing is where the sacred resides. Letting go of “doing” and just experiencing the moment is where the answer lies.

I feel blessed that the quiet woke up in me! It is the greatest gift I have ever received. I am so excited to see where it leads.

My last big letting go is this blog. I am going to keep writing, but for now, it is going to be private. Time for me to experience the quiet and the unfolding of my spiritual journey.

Thank you for following me and allowing me to send you these posts. I don’t know how this transition will turnout, but I will keep your email on my list.

May you remember who you are and return to the love that was always there! Bless you and may the spirit be victorious!

All my love,

Know Yourself • Be Yourself • Live it Like Crazy!

Me, Silence and Yoga Nidra – Part 4

Me, Silence, and Yoga Nidra - Part 4

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.”  – Socrates

Over the next few days, I worked night and day on it.  Researching chakras, and writing descriptions and developing a process for discovering if your chakra/life area was blocked and what you could do to unblock it. It was pretty intense. I took another morning and used the drops and went at it some more. I connected the fact that the lower three chakras were the key to the connection to weight and body image and understood deeply that before anything else could happen the lower three chakras had to be unblocked and open and flowing.

In a moment of clarity while under the influence, I realized that I needed to do this work.  It was my lower three chakras that were blocked. I decided to make myself a science project and see what would happen. I was determined to figure this out once and for all. I didn’t want to be hating my body and trying another diet at 80!

Unfortunately, in my manic “doer” state I had signed up for the monthly Female Entrepreneurs Association classes, classes on Teachable to learn how to create an online school, I was trying to stay caught up with the work on my year-long Life Coaching class, plus I was trying to build a writers platform, promote Becoming Zia on social media and increase my mailing list. And, write weekly blog posts. I had a daily “to do” post-it note list on my wall and a whiteboard with a list of deadlines for things in the next couple of months.

If I could just get organized enough, I could do all this and save the world from being fat!

Sure!

That is when the Universe gave me a miracle.

During my research for the lower three chakras I did a Google search for  “Balancing the lower three chakras”. The first thing that came up was an article written by Amrit Desai. Amrit Desai is a one of a few master yogis in the US. I studied under him for years when I lived in Ohio. I listened to his CD’s over and over for years in my car, I’d read his books. The weird thing was just a week earlier I had gone to a yoga class with my sister-in-law and afterwards talked about him and told her about why his style of yoga was different then others.  When this article popped up I knew I had to read it.

When I started reading it I felt like I was reading something familiar yet profound on a new level. He was explaining the chakras and blockages with such clarity that I was blown away. He put into words and explained exactly what I was feeling, yet even more concise, deep and clear. At the end he suggested Yoga Nidra as a way to help. I remembered I had done Yoga Nidra with him, and had a CD. But now he had something new called I AM Yoga Nidra. His daughter Kamini had a CD that was specifically for clearing chakras. Wow. I knew I had to listen to it and see what it was all about!

Yoga Nidra is a process of relaxation, like nothing else. There is no activity in Yoga Nidra, you lay down, close your eyes and listen as you are guided through the process. Kamini is wonderful. Her voice is so soothing. The first time I listened I had a shift. A big shift.

The concept of “doing” and “being” became clear to me. I saw that I was busying up my life so I didn’t have to deal with feeling or being still. When I reached the place of stillness I was filled with anxiety. It took everything I had to work through it and allow myself to be still. Once I broke through I knew I had to stop doing so much, and spend some time “being”. That it was going to be in the stillness that I figured this out.

Over the next couple of days I did the Yoga Nidra with Kamini several times. Clearing the chakras was working. On the third day, I knew I had to stop “doing”. I had no idea how to stop the forward momentum that I had created, but I had to.

First I cancelled my membership to The Life Coach School, then the Female Entrepreneur Association, I boxed up all my Body Belief work and put it in the cabinet. I cringed at putting it away AGAIN, but I knew I had to do it. I cleaned off my desk.

There I sat.

All my busy work and self-inquiry tools gone. Just me, the silence and Yoga Nidra. (Listen yourself below and get a taste of Yoga Nidra.)

The final, Part 5, next week.

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Know Yourself • Be Yourself • Live it Like Crazy!